For The Love of Hip-Hop, Heartbreak and Side Chicks…

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Hearts and Hands

Now we aren’t ones to gossip, but there have been a few stories floating around in the land of Hip-Hop and because we’re not nosy, but newsy, we thought we’d go ahead and share a small bit of what’s being shared around the golden water-cooler….

The Carters!So of course the Carters have been slaying the stage and leaving fans swooning and breathless!! Sources are reporting that the On The Run Tour is absolutely FIRE! Stans and fans have been posting concert footage showing the power couple working their juju from stadium to stadium, laying folks out in the aisles with fits of extreme ecstasy from merely being in the presence of the King and Queen! The Carters are running an almost three hour show that is literally taking a huge dump on other artists who are touring right now. Who are they again? Oh yes, we have no idea because the Royals are hosting stadium sized parties and that’s all anybody cares about. But in all seriousness, the show is reportedly doing really well and is still expected to be one of the highest selling tours in the history of everdom! There has even been recent confirmation that the concert is heading to HBO (Hov.Bey.Only?) That is great news for fans who won’t be able to attend the shows live. So go on now Mr. and Mrs. Carter, keep making the subjects prostrate themselves in loyalty as you give them more Life than Dr. Frankenstein ever gave his Monster!robin-thicke-

My Dear Mr. Thicke, (Since you seem to enjoy emulating our dear Mr. Gaye so much)…The public at large is going to have to ask you to kindly sit down in the nearest corner sir. Your parade of beggar’try has left a salty trail of tears, which is perhaps why the lines are really blurred now. Your valiant yet ultimately unsuccessful attempt to woo back the lovely Paula is swiftly turning out to be flatulently futile. The Paula album is just not the answer in this case. Selling a mere 530 copies in the UK Robin? Really? It’s confirmation bruh, take it on off the world stage, nobody wants to witness your shitty public meltdown, we have our own problems!! Alan, please come get your boy, his Growing Pains are thoroughly whooping his ass! Miss Paula is clearly over it as is the rest of the world. You’ve gone and made yourself look like a total douchey wuss, so why would she take you back now after all the embarrassment? Especially considering your fingers probably still smell like that girls butt you had them shoved up in. No one is here for it, Paula is in hiding (which you should be considering) and there is just nothing left to say now. Just go ahead and tuck your tail between your legs and slink away with what little dignity you have left. Wave the white flag for now and recognize defeat for what it is. Maybe she’ll take you back down the road despite your poor judgment and asininity, while she gives her panties a real good party in the meantime!

Chris and KayAnd awww, a break up so soon after the big release Chris and Kay? Tsk tsk, Fame can be such a raggedy bitch can’t she? Just being ruthless with your business and wreaking havoc on your heart & emotions all over the public stage…Sigh…Rumor has it Chris is being disrespectful, wanting to have his side-chicks and eat them too and Ms. Kay in her new position as the “main chick” is not here for it! This is really not the greatest time for you drama-wise Chris, considering your “situation” you probably would have benefited from having that stable support system behind you for a while longer…Please keep it together long enough to make a strong come back and redeem yourself. Here’s what your list should look like: 1. Lose bad influences/jail weight 2. Keep hands to self/Stay out of prison 3. No more face/neck tats. And Ms. Kay, at least you are young, attractive and somewhat connected. If you unzip that leg tattoo and shake out all that CB Bullsh*t you’ve accumulated over time, you will hopefully manage to re-stuff it with your own magic so you can stand on your own talent. You will find another industry boo soon enough ’cause you’re lookin’ damn good these days hunty, so don’t be afraid to leave your mark and make your own legacy ‘rueche. Tag, Rihanna you’re in! Lol…J/K!

That’s it for now, come back next week to see if there will be anything newsy worth chatting about. In the meantime and in between time, enjoy your weekend and be sure to dispose of your recyclables, wet swimwear and used condoms in the proper receptacles. Laterz!!!!

By Cozmicsequels Via VinoTown


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